airport security

by Hugh

Security Guard: What is in this tube?
Me: Prescription skin cream.
SG: What is it for?
Me: ?
SG: What is it for?
Me: … Um… a skin condition.
SG: Did a doctor prescribe this?
Me: Yes.
SG: Do you have a note from the doctor?
Me: The prescription label is on the tube. Right there [pointing].
SG: So you don’t have a note from the doctor?
Me: The doctor’s name is on the prescription label.
SG: [reading] …
Me: [waiting] …
SG: Do you need this cream?
Me: Yes.
SG: So you are saying you need this cream?
Me: Yes.
SG: But the prescription label says: “Apply to affected areas twice a day *if* needed.”
Me: [silence]
SG: It says, “If needed.”
Me: Yes.
SG: So do you need it or not?
Me: Yes.
SG: You need it?
Me: Yes.
SG: OK, but next time get a note from a doctor.